(DJ IN SPANISH OVER RADIO)
(CAR HORN)
(KIDS YELL & SCREAM)
MAN 1: Just tell him, damn it!
MAN 2: Tell him to give him coffee. MAN 1: You tell him!
MAN 2: Give me that!
MAN 2: Look, get him some coffee or cookies.
(FLY BUZZES)
(CAR HORN)
I know that!
(FLY BUZZES)
MAN 3: Hey!
Where do you think you're going?
FOSTER: Going home.
(POLICE SIREN)
MAN 3: Officer.
The guy walked into the bushes, maybe to pee, but he never came back.
Do you need help?
Do you own this car?
That's not him. The guy walked into the bushes.
He said he was going home.
Going home?
Gentlemen, return to your cars.
What about the car?
I'll radio for a tow truck.
PRENDERGAST: Let's shove it out of the way. We'll get this lane moving!
It's dangerous.
We got a lot of glass and steel rushing by us at high speeds.
PRENDERGAST: Wait a minute.
Prendergast. Downtown Robbery. Let's go.
I'm in linoleum tile, myself.
All right. You, back in your vehicle.
You push. I'll steer.
MAN 3: We do ceramics too. Special discount for law officers.
I love Cops, the TV show. Don't you watch it? I never miss it.
You're lucky you caught me.
I am?
Today's my last day as a cop.
Lucky me.
Don't touch it!
Just get this lane moving.
Okay. Sorry.
Officer?
(PHONE RINGS)
BETH: Oh, my God! The phone!
Come on, baby.
Watch your fingers.
Take Tucker, okay?
Hello?
ADELE: Mom?
BETH: Hello?
Mom, can you help me open this?
Hello?
(BETH HANGS UP)
Can I get some change for the phone, please?
No change. Have to buy something.
-Eighty-fie sen. -What?
Eighty-fie sen.
-I don't understand. -Eighty-fie sen!
Eighty-five cents?
It doesn't give me enough money for the phone call.
I'll give you 50 cents. You give me 50 cents change.
-No way. -Yes, way.
Drink, eighty-fie sen. You pay or go!
I don't understand "fie." There's a "V" in the word "five."
No "V's" in China?
-Not Chinese. I'm Korean. -Whatever.
You come to my country, take my money and don't even learn my language?
You're Korean?
Do you have any idea how much money my country has given your country?
How much?
I don't know. It's a lot. You can bet on that.
You go now! No trouble!
I stay.
What do you think of that?
Jesus Christ!
What is this?
The last stand on Fiji?
-Take the money! Take the money! -What?
Take the money.
Take your hands away from your... I can't under... Stop it!
FOSTER: All right. Speak slowly and distinctly.
Take the money.
You think I'm a thief?
You see, I'm not the thief.
I'm not the one charging 85 cents for a stinking soda!
You're the thief!
I'm just standing up for my rights as a consumer.
I'm rolling back prices to 1 965. What do you think of that?
Doughnuts. Package of six. How much?
$1 .1 2.
Too much.
Aspirin. Price?
$3.40.
Oh, please!
AA batteries. Package of four.
$4.29.
Nice try.
This whole shelf looks suspect.
One soda...
...1 2 ounces.
Fifty sen!
Sold.
It's been a pleasure frequenting your establishment.
Very funny.
Very, very funny.
LYDECKER: Genuine Arizona sand, Prendergast. Get used to it.
PRENDERGAST: I bet.
Genuine Santa Monica sand's more like it.
It's from my cat's litterbox, but he said you could keep the lumps.
You took my stuff out first?
Heck, no. How fun would that be?
PRENDERGAST: How do I get a pen out? -Don't need no pen. Use the cat turd.
It's your last day. Be careful. Remember Forsythe?
-Forsythe got 5 minutes to retirement. -Two!
Two minutes, nothing! The guy was on the way to his fucking car.
Mowed down by a runaway impound. Nasty.
BRIAN: Ironic. LYDECKER: Ironic as fuck!
GRAHAM: Anything can happen today.
You know how dangerous a desk can be.
Watch out for paper cuts.
PRENDERGAST: Funny, funny, funny.
Sorry. I tried to dissuade them.
Hey, Sandra. It's obligatory, I guess.
Now, what else do they have up their sleeve?
Nothing.
Nothing?
Are we still on for lunch? You're not going home early?
Why would I go home early?
Last day and all.
I'm not superstitious.
-Sandy, you ready? -In a minute.
Leave the poor desk jockey alone.
SANDRA: See if you know how to start the car.
Let's not get our pantyhose in a bind.
I'll miss you, Prendergast.
You really will? Me too.
LYDECKER: Come on, let's go!
Lunch?
BETH: Just a second, baby.
ADELE: When will we make the strawberry cake?
Soon. I thought sundown would be good.
Here. Not in the house.
Just a few kids. I didn't want to do a whole big thing.
(PHONE RINGS)
Prendergast here.
-Hi. -Hello?
-It's me. -Hi.
I wish you were home. Wouldn't you come home now?
What's wrong?
I don't know.
I got a little scared...
...and I'd like you to come home.
What is it, honey?
I don't know. I was wrapping some...
...some glasses up and some things...
...and I got really scared.
You're not doing this move just for me, are you?
You really want to do it, don't you?
The important thing is we're together. That's what counts.
Yeah, but you're not here.
Well, I will be soon, baby.
Say it.
-Say it! -I'll be home soon.
No, say it!
I'll be home soon, and I love you.
I love you too.
Feel better?
No, I don't feel better!
SINGING: London Bridge is falling down
Falling down, falling down
London bridge is falling down Help me.
My fair lady
You my fair lady?
Yes.
-Bye. -Bye-bye.
What you doing, mister?
Nothing.
GANG MEMBER 1: You're trespassing on private property.
-Trespassing? -Loitering too.
That's right. You're loitering too.
FOSTER: I didn't see any signs.
What you call that?
Graffiti?
GANG MEMBER 1: No, man.
That's not fucking graffiti! That's a sign.
GANG MEMBER 2: He can't read it, man.
GANG MEMBER 1: I'll read it for you. It says this is private property.
No fucking trespassing.
This means fucking you!
-It says all that? GANG MEMBER 1: Yeah!
If you wrote it in English, I'd fucking understand it!
-Thinks he's being funny. -I'm not laughing.
-I'm not either. -Hold it, fellas.
We're getting off on the wrong foot.
This is a gangland thing, isn't it?
We're having a territorial dispute?
I've wandered into your pissing ground or whatever the damn thing is...
...and you're offended by my presence. I understand that.
I mean, I wouldn't want you people in my back yard, either.
This is your home...
...and your home is your home. I respect that.
So if you would just back up a step or two...
...l'll take my problems elsewhere.
Fair enough?
-What do you think? -He should pay a toll.
Good idea.
You should pay a toll.
Listen, fellas...
...l've had a rare morning. I'm not in the mood to...
What should he pay?
How about that briefcase?
Good idea.
Give us your briefcase, man.
I'm not giving you my goddamn briefcase.
Motherfucker, give us your motherfucking briefcase!
Okay.
I was willing to mind my own business.
I was willing to respect your territory and treat you like a man.
You couldn't let a man...
...sit here for five minutes to rest on your precious piece-of-shit hill?
Want my briefcase? I'll get it for you, all right?
You want my briefcase? Here's my briefcase!
Where are you going?
You forgot the briefcase!
I'm going home! Clear the path, you motherfucker!
Clear the path!
I'm going home!
How'd they do that?
CLERK: Gun! -What?
You're leaving today, right? I gotta get your gun.
PRENDERGAST: Right.
I need your John Doe right here, here and here.
Got time to take a statement?
I know you wanna go before you get killed...
Yeah, Brian, I'm still working here.
This guy's a little excited.
Mr. Lee, come on in.
(LEE IN KOREAN)
What'd he say?
You know, I don't know. Mr. Lee is Korean.
I'm Japanese, in case you never bothered to notice.
-Mr. Lee, speak English, okay? -Sure.
Sit down.
He'll help you. Mr. Lee owns a market. He was hit less than an hour ago.
Sorry, Mr. Lee, no smoking.
Mr. Lee, let's just start off with what he looked like.
White man, white shirt, tie.
-What color was his tie? LEE: Color?
I don't know color. The guy attack me, okay?
He bust up my store. I'm lucky to be alive.
Just try and relax. What did he steal from you?
Did not steal! Attack me, okay?
Say he fix my prices. Bust up my merchandise.
He didn't rob you?
The guy crazy! I told him, "Take my money."
He say no. He call me "thief," then he break up my merchandise.
Then he buy a soda and take off.
He bought a soda. He paid for it?
I told you, the guy crazy.
Sorry, I thought this was a robbery.
BRIAN: Mr. Lee, we have to go talk to somebody else.
BRIAN: This man works robberies. LEE: Robberies?
BRIAN: That's right. Come on.
LEE: Baseball bat! PRENDERGAST: What's that?
The guy take my baseball bat.
You sell bats?
No, keep for defense. Under counter. Defense.
You mean he stole your baseball bat but paid for the soda?
This guy's discriminating.
That still doesn't count. Let's go. Thanks.
Go to the hospital. Your arm might be broken!
We'll look for this guy, so shut the fuck up!
What did this guy do? Threaten you with his credit card?
I told you he had a bat!
If this guy's still around, we'll find him and fuck him up.
Then you go to the hospital?
Shut up!
(PHONE RINGS)
Hello?
Cut the crap. I know it's you.
What do you want?
BETH: It is you, isn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's me.
You gotta stop calling me.
It's Adele's birthday.
Yes, I know. What do you want?
I'm coming home.
What are you talking about?
I just...
I want you to know that I'm coming home for her birthday.
You're not coming here.
Listen, Beth...
...I gotta see you.
No, you listen to me. This is my house now. I pay the rent.
You don't pay child support.
-You just can't walk in and out. -Don't talk like that, Beth.
I have to come home.
I have to bring her a present.
You know you can't come here!
Hey!
It's him! It's him, man!
How's Adele?
This isn't your home anymore.
How is she?
She's doing just fine without you.
-Angie, get out. -Come on, man.
It's fucking broad daylight! This shit ain't worth it!
-Get the fuck out! -Get out of the car!
Give me one. Give me one.
And you?
Don't.
I'll call the police.
Go, go, go!
I'm coming home.
Did you get him?
You missed.
I missed too.
No, don't fucking do it!
No, man.
Fuck you, mother...!
There, you see?
That's the concept.
Take some shooting lessons, asshole!
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
She's open.
Prendergast.
Have a seat.
Captain.
Did you hear?
The drive-by shooting?
Disgusting!
You know who'll have to take the heat again...
...when the shit hits the fan.
You're retiring a little early.
You won't be getting your full pension.
Yes, sir, that's right. I won't.
This isn't because you were wounded, is it?
Wounded?
Because, I mean...
...you're behind a desk now.
Not much chance of getting wounded there.
Look, captain, it has nothing to do with that.
I'll make my speech.
They make me do this, you understand.
I hate to lose a good cop.
Not too late to change your mind.
Lot of good cops want to drop the whole kit and caboodle.
And who wouldn't?
The pay stinks...
...and you're up to your ears in human scum 1 6 hours a day.
But it gets in your blood.
A lot of good cops get to the point of...
...slapping their badge down on this desk...
...and find they just can't do it. How about you?
Will you stick with the team?
No, captain. I don't think I will.
Like I say, they make me ask. You understand.
How are the kids?
I don't have any.
What the hell?
I'd like to take my stick to these clerks.
-The file says... -We lost a child.
Lost it?
Her. Lost her.
Yes, of course. Her. That's rough.
Well, it can be. Yes, sir.
Still married, right?
Yes, sir, I am.
That's good.
Where you going?
-I'm going home. -Not this way.
-Why not? -Metrorail construction, that's why not.
Go around.
Just follow your tootsies.
You sure you don't want something? Coffee, soda, something?
OFFICER: No, thank you, ma'am.
I feel kind of stupid about this.
Better safe than sorry.
That's what I thought.
You have a restraining order against your husband?
Ex-husband.
He'd show up on the wrong day...
...or in the middle of the night, pounding on the door.
Thing is, he has this horrendous temper.
I didn't know if a restraining order was a good idea...
...and if it'd do more harm than good.
But the judge said we should make an example of him.
So he can't come within 100 feet of us.
Or is it yards? Which is it? Feet or yards?
That's up to the judge.
-I thought it was a set thing. -It's at his discretion.
That's interesting.
Does he drink?
Oh, I thought you meant the judge!
-No, I wouldn't say so. -Do drugs?
Oh, no.
But he has a propensity for violence?
Yeah, I think you could say that.
Did he strike the little girl?
-Well, no. -Did he strike you?
Not exactly.
Not exactly?
You know, there were times...
...when I thought he was going to...
...but I just didn't want to wait until he got around to it.
It's hard to explain.
He could, I think.
You think?
Hello, sir. How are you today?
I'm doing all right.
-How about you? -Me? I'm terrible.
I'm sorry.
I came from Santa Barbara, and my friend wasn't home...
...and he owes me money...
...so I have no money to go home.
I'm almost out of gas. I had to sleep in my car.
Do you have a few bucks? It would really help me out.
Give me your address, I'll mail it back. Honest.
-Let me see your driver's license. -What for?
It'll have your address on it.
-I don't have a license. -You drove all the way without it?
Are you a cop?
Let's see your car registration and your car.
All right, forget it. Okay, just forget it!
MAN: That's a hell of a way to treat a vet, man.
-You're an animal doctor? -No, a veteran. I was in Nam.
FOSTER: You must've been 10 years old.
I meant to say the Gulf.
Come on! All I'm asking for is a little change.
I haven't eaten in three days.
Well, I mean, except for this.
Fuck it! Give me some money, man. Just give me some money.
How about a dime? Give it to me.
I'm not giving you any.
-You got a cigarette? -No.
-You gotta give me something. -Why don't you get a job?
This is my park. I live here!
Who are you, walking through my park with two bags?
I don't got any. Is that fair?
What's in those bags, anyway? Give me one.
I could sell those bags and eat for a week with the money.
You've got two of them. Why do you need two?
You're right.
Here.
-Are you serious? -I don't need it anymore.
All right! Come on, now. Come on. What the...
Son of a bitch!
JONES: Can we cut the crap this time? ANGIE: I'm telling you the truth!
JONES: Yeah, right.
PRENDERGAST: What's up? KEENE: She was at the drive-by.
SANCHEZ: Angie, who hit your guys? ANGIE: I told you.
JONES: We know. The big bad white man. We're not buying it.
SANCHEZ: Who are you protecting?
They put your boyfriend in the hospital. He's probably dead.
Do you realize that? He's probably fucking dead!
ANGIE: Stop saying that! KEENE: You picked a good day to leave.
SANCHEZ: You want another 3-year-old to get shot in the head?
Is that what you want?
Tell me the truth!
I'm telling you the truth!
It was a white guy!
JONES: Why would he go for your friends? ANGIE: I don't know!
He attacked them on Angel's Flight Hill with a baseball bat!
PRENDERGAST: A baseball bat? Wait!
Baseball bat. What did this guy look like?
I don't know. He looked like you...
...except he was taller and had hair.
JONES: Good description, Angie!
Did he wear a white shirt and tie?
SANCHEZ: Come over here, will you?
We gotta keep the pressure on her. Don't interrupt.
What about the bat?
-The white shirt and tie! -What will she think of next?
I'm sorry you're leaving, but you are.
-Sanchez, listen to me! -Check me later, babe.
PRENDERGAST: Hey, Brian?
Remember that storekeeper, the Korean guy?
-Mr. Lee? -Come here.
PRENDERGAST: Where was his place?
Right there.
He was assaulted sometime after 8 a.m.?
-About that. -And the drive-by was here, right?
What's going on?
I may be nuts, but Angel's Flight Hill is between those two spots.
-It was a classy neighborhood. -It's a shit hole. Gangland.
I know. What would a white guy in a shirt and tie be doing in...
...gangland?
Hi. Can I help you?
I'd like a ham and cheese Whamlette, an order of Wham fries...
Sorry, we stopped serving breakfast. We're on the lunch menu.
I want breakfast.
We're not serving it.
So you said.
Is that the manager?
Yeah.
Could I speak to him, please?
Sure.
Rick, a customer would like to speak to you.
Yes, sir.
I'd like some breakfast.
We stopped serving breakfast.
I know you stopped breakfast, Rick. Sheila told me you stopped...
Why am I calling you by first names? I don't know you.
I call my boss "mister" after 7 years, but I walk in here, a stranger...
...and I'm calling you Rick and Sheila like we're in an AA meeting.
I don't want to be your buddy, Rick. I just want a little breakfast.
You can call me Miss Folsom if you want to.
We stopped serving breakfast at 1 1:30.
Have you ever heard the expression, "The customer is always right"?
Yeah.
Well, here I am.
The customer.
That's not our policy.
You have to order something from the lunch menu.
I don't want lunch.
I want breakfast.
Yeah, well, hey, I'm really sorry.
Yeah, well, hey, I'm really sorry too!
RICK: He's got a gun!
Let's get organized!
Calm down!
Just calm down, everybody. Sit down over there!
Mister.
Where are you going?
No. You sit down there, and you finish your lunch.
Everybody just relax and take it easy.
Eat your lunch. Please.
You all need your vitamins A, B and...
Don't! It was an accident!
It's the trigger, it's sensitive. It's okay!
It's a sensitive trigger.
Could I have my breakfast?
Yes, sir. Sheila?
FOSTER: Rick? Miss Folsom?
You know what?
You were right. I've changed my mind.
I'm going to have some lunch.
Could I have a double Whammyburger with cheese...
-You getting this? -Yes, sir.
And an order of Whammy fries and, let's see...
...a Choco-Wham shake.
Yes, sir. Sheila, get his order.
FOSTER: Rick, could you get it for me, please?
I feel comfortable calling you Rick after all we've been through together.
FOSTER: How you doing?
Enjoying your meal?
How about you?
Is it good?
And you, ma'am? How's the food?
I think we have a critic.
I don't think she likes the special sauce.
That's a joke.
Now, here we go.
Thank you.
See, this is what I'm talking about.
Look at that.
See what I mean?
It's plump, juicy, three inches thick.
Look at this sorry, miserable, squashed thing.
Can anybody tell me what's wrong with this picture?
Anybody?
Anybody at all.
LITA: You guys are partners again!
No such luck, Lita. He's moving to Lake Havasu.
LITA: What's in Lake Havasu? SANDRA: London Bridge.
LITA: Are you going to England? PRENDERGAST: They moved it to Arizona.
-Stone by stone. -Oh, yeah. I heard about that.
You're better off, because cops get killed.
PRENDERGAST: What'd we used to get, six?
SANDRA: Seven.
Two sevens.
You all right?
Yeah.
You sure?
What?
I'm sorry, I wasn't gonna do this.
I should just shut up. It's none of my business.
PRENDERGAST: Tell me.
Lake Havasu?
It's nice. We like it.
She likes it.
What'll you do, watch cactus grow?
Cacti.
She's not handling middle age too well.
The change of life and all that, whatever it is that is.
What about you?
Me? It's different, because she's a woman.
Different? I'm a woman.
But she was once very beautiful.
Thanks a lot!
You know what I mean. Come on, come on.
She could've been anything. Anything but a cop's wife.
She's high-strung.
Don't give me that queen of the hop, homecoming queen bullshit again.
That was a long time ago.
Sandra, you have a career.
It's hard to lose your beauty when that's all you've got.
What about your career?
I'll be okay...
...you know, even without you.
Sorry to break this up.
SANDRA: Why are you here? LYDECKER: We got a call.
Watch out! Hot plates!
-Don't touch my gun. LITA: Fuck you!
You'll love this one. Some dickhead went into Whammyburger...
...pulled out a gun when he couldn't get breakfast.
Then he paid for it and left.
Sorry, Prendergast.
He paid for it?
Yeah. Move your buns. Let's go.
I gotta go.
PRENDERGAST: Where was this?
Quintero and Fourth. Bye, ladies.
PRENDERGAST: Wait a minute. Wait, wait!
Let me know what this guy was wearing, okay?
You trying to crack a big one before you disappear into the desert?
Sandra, find out if he's wearing a white shirt and tie.
Let's go, lovebirds.
-I gotta go. -Wait.
Something about my wife. Maybe I never mentioned it.
What?
I love her.
LYDECKER: Let's go!
STRIKER: For seven years, I banked here.
When I asked them for a loan, a small loan...
...they told me that I was not "economically viable."
Excuse me, sir. Excuse me.
How'd your loan work out? Did they give you a loan?
He must be economically viable!
There's a man with a smiling face. A happy customer.
That's what an economically viable person looks like!
FOSTER: How much is the...?
SALESMAN: That is only $3.
STRIKER: I asked them for a small loan. You know what they told me?
I was not economically viable.
POLICE OFFICER: That's enough.
-I'll buy this. -Yes, sir. That is $3.
STRIKER: I'm going away now! I'm going away, everybody!
This is what happens if you're not economically viable!
STRIKER: Don't let this happen to you!
Bye, everybody!
Don't forget me.
I'm sorry.
We're leaving now.
You are? Really?
It doesn't look like your husband's gonna show.
He probably realized he could get into trouble if he harassed you.
You should call your lawyer and tell him about it.
It's one of those services. I didn't have much money.
Have them call your husband's lawyer, make it official.
In the meantime, lock up. And if anything else happens, call us.
-Okay, thanks. -Sure thing.
MAN: Excuse me. Hey, excuse me!
If you haven't noticed, others are waiting to use the phone.
-Others want the phone? -Right, asshole!
Jeez, that's too bad, because you know what?
I think it's out of order.
(PHONE RINGS)
Yeah, Prendergast.
Hi, it's me.
He's eating and resting comfortably now.
-Who is? -Mr. Peepers.
-Good! -I'm sorry about before.
I really blew my top...
That's okay, honey. Could you hold on one second?
Prendergast.
White shirt and tie.
Could you hold on?
I gotta go.
Just one second. It's very important.
Detective Torres! Excuse me.
We have about 7 million people waiting to make a statement.
Let me call you right back.
What's wrong? What are you doing?
Nothing's wrong. What do you mean?
-You come home then. -I can't.
It's your last day. What are they going to do, fire you?
There's a lot of red tape. As soon as I get done, I can go home.
I'll call you in a while, okay?
Wait a minute. Make a list.
-A list? -We need boneless chicken...
...skinless. Red peppers...
...not green, red.
Honey, hold on one second.
I am tying up the phone here.
Just listen for once in your life.
A girl at the drive-by said a man in a shirt and tie...
...attacked her homeboys with a baseball bat.
Somebody's let that dog off the leash.
I think you've got last-day-itis.
This man was not swinging a bat. He has a gym bag full of guns.
A gym bag?
You asked me to tell you what he wore. I gotta run.
We have to canvas the neighborhood.
One more second.
Please. It's important.
-Why don't you go to the store? -Why?
It's my last day.
The guys might want to have a send off or something.
What're they gonna do? Get some broad...
... with tassels dangling, dancing on your desk?
Course not.
Look, while you have been playing cop...
...l'm at home planning your retirement.
It's over. The sooner you get that, the better.
You are no longer in the law-enforcement business.
Now, I will expect you at the usual time. Capito?
Sandra, are you mad at me?
-I hate you, but I'm not mad. -You retiring too?
Just don't leave without saying goodbye.
Goodbye.
If you go up against this guy...
...be careful.